You can't judge me

Let’s discuss opinions.

One of the silliest things I have ever heard goes something like this, “You have no right to judge me, you arrogant jerk.” You can switch the last phrase with any number of replacements. We’ve all heard someone utter something very similar to this at one time or another. It doesn’t matter whether or not the comment was directed at you, you’ve heard or read it.

People who think they have the “right” to not be judged have long been one of my pet peeves (Side note – I’ve got a ton of pet peeves and we’ll hopefully get to a lot of them over time). Let’s just examine that belief.

I would love to see the origin of this laundry list of “rights” that grow each day that have somehow been bestowed upon people by birthright. If you want something, the quickest and easiest way to achieve it (without actually working and earning it, that is) is to loudly proclaim that it’s your “right” to whatever. Someone will fall over themselves to cater to your whims as soon as you begin braying about your “rights”. What about my right to not be annoyed by people claiming their “right” to a home, a car, a job, a certain way of life, a retirement, a college education, etc., etc., etc. Where does it stop?

Second, let’s look at this whole “judging” thing. According to the dictionary, the definitions of “judge” include:
- To form an opinion or estimation of after careful consideration
- To determine or declare after consideration or deliberation
- (Informal) To have as an opinion or assumption

So, in effect, those who utter the phrase we began with are judging that the person they are addressing is not qualified to have an opinion. One of the saddest things about this is that the irony completely escapes the speaker. Anyone who would say that phrase obviously does not understand the concept of circular logic.

I have yet to meet the person who would use this phrase who is actually in a position to take away my ability to form an opinion. Therefore, they do not have the capability to inform me that I can’t form an opinion on them and their actions.

We all form opinions, on a daily basis. You are forming an opinion of me and my writing as you are reading this sentence. When you look out the window in the morning, you form an opinion on how the day’s weather will be. When you are walking down the street, and you encounter someone you’ve never met, you instantly form a beginning opinion based on available information, i.e. their appearance. Granted, the opinion may be wrong, and it may change, but it’s useless to deny that the opinion exists.

Try to not form opinions. Your head will explode.

When most people use the “you can’t judge me” tactic, what they usually mean is, “you can’t disapprove of me." Now this is a completely different can of worms. This person is saying, in effect, “I am offering you information on me, by my actions. You will form an opinion on these actions, it’s human to do so. However, you are not allowed to form opinion A, only opinion B is allowed.” Says who? Doesn’t that rather negate the whole “forming an opinion” cycle?

Well, that’s only my opinion.