Next, They Can Attend Classes In The Nude

The University of Chicago will now allow baby-faced children fresh out of Mommy and Daddy’s house to live in coed dorm rooms.

Gee, who could see anything going wrong with that decision? You just know that was based on their desire to foster a richer academic environment for the students, and of course we all know that college students always do the right thing. No college student has ever let their grades slip because of temptation. Ever.