Of course I have an ego

I will draw a parallel on the previous subject of opinions. I was going to include this in the post on opinions, but I felt I was getting a bit long-winded. Bear with me, that is an ongoing problem of mine. From everything I’ve heard and seen, it’s hereditary.

When I was in high school, someone asked me if I had an ego. I answered yes, we all have egos. They immediately said oh no, not me. But I explained my reasoning on why I said that.

Each day, you are faced with thousands of decisions from the time you first awaken until the time you go to sleep. Little decisions, big ones, in-between ones. When you wake, you must decide when to sit up. How much time will you lay there? When will you stand? What clothes will you wear today? What will you eat for breakfast? Will you skip breakfast? Should you go to work today, or risk calling in sick? Drive or walk? Left or right? When someone nods to you and says good morning, do you look down? Reply? Smile? Shake hands? Kiss them?

It’s not just huge decisions such as do you sell your house today, or quit your job. It’s also small mundane things. All of these are decisions.

Here comes the tricky part. On every one of these decisions you make each second of every day, you are making what you believe to be the best decision at that point in time for that choice. Otherwise, you would not make that decision. So, you are making what you believe to be the best decisions all day long, by the thousands. Subconsciously, you believe that you are always right. That fits the description of ego.

I know what you are thinking, and yes, I actually did date in high school, and quite a lot. But I did a fair bit of thinking as well. Also, notice I said you believed you were right at that particular point in time. I am not saying anyone is perfect and never makes mistakes. Nor am I saying we never recognize our mistakes. Even those are choices. When you realize you actually made a wrong decision, you are faced with more choices. Do you admit it? How do you correct the mistake? How do you ensure you do not make that mistake again? It just keeps going on and on.

So, yes, I have an ego. I always think I am making the right decision. I always agree with myself, even if I later change my mind. I am, after all, my own best friend. I am always together, I sleep with myself, I even shower together. Now that is true closeness.