Musings and Ramblings

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Barbra Streisand posted a blog blasting the President for being a C student in college. Trouble is, her missive has 11 misspellings in it. For the best part, follow the link on the Drudge Report to her 2002 reply to another report on her poor spelling, where she says that attacking someone for poor spelling is attacking them on “the lowest and least pertinent level.” I wonder if that also applies to attacking someone for grades?

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

You can be forgiven if you are in an airplane that drops 8000 feet and you begin screaming, “We’re going to crash!” That is, unless you are a flight attendant on the flight.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you get the urge to play with the animals at the zoo, don’t.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Hamas, which is now the ruling party in Palestine, has a website designed for children. Although you can’t read the text, I have it on good authority that this website praises suicide bombers, including a story about a mother so proud of her son for becoming a suicide bomber that she begins handing out presents to friends. I was able to navigate to a picture page that has lots of pictures…of children holding rifles, crying over dead bodies, and throwing Molotov cocktails.

Monday Funny

If the Bible had been written by college students

...there would have been 5 Commandments, not 10, and they would have been doublespaced with wide margins and a large font.

...Moses would have wandered the desert because he was afraid to ask directions and look like a freshman.

...God would not have created the world in six days and rested on the seventh; he would have waited until the day before it was due and pulled an all-nighter.

...Cain would have killed Abel because they were roommates.