Musings and Ramblings

It’s not about immigration.
It’s about illegal immigration.
It’s not about civil rights.
It’s about people jumping ahead of other people who have been patiently waiting in line legally to gain access to our country.
It’s not about fairness.
It’s about people who have no respect for our laws but demand our benefits.
It’s not about racism.
It’s about national security.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

A 17 year old boy who has oral sex with a 15 year old girl is sentenced to 10 years in prison and a lifetime of registration as a sex offender registration. Good thing he wasn’t a 25 year old female teacher having sex with a 14 year old boy. He might have gotten his hand slapped.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you are drunk, and you are looking for a rock that stands 1100 feet tall, and you are 100 yards away from it with your headlights shining on it, and you flag down a car to ask for directions to the rock, what are the odds that inside the car will be policemen?

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

A dominatrix is evicted by her landlord who happens to be the church.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Wearing a snake around your neck while driving may not be a great idea. Who knew?

Monday Funny

Why parents have gray hair

The ringing phone was answered with a child’s whispered voice.

"Hello?"

"Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The small voice whispered, "No."

"Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

"Is there any one there besides you?"

"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

"What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?"

"The search team just landed the hello-copper."

"What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me"