D/s versus PC

I have been thinking about the world of Domination/submission versus the world of Political Correctness.

Do not confuse D/s with Bondage/Discipline. Bondage/Discipline is what most people think of when they hear a reference to D/s. B/D is about pain and restraint. D/s can involve restraints, but is about power and trust.

For the uninformed, Domination/submission is a form of interaction that many people employ. There are protocols to D/s just as there are to most other interactions. These protocols are where the similarities to PC come into play.

In D/s, you use a safe word. The submissive agrees on the safe word with the Dominant before the interaction begins. If at any time, the submissive feels uncomfortable, threatened or unsafe, they use the safe word. At that time, all interactions cease. Safe words are the definitive red light.

In PC, there are words very similar to safe words. If someone feels they have been offended, they use a host of words. They make accusations of discrimination. They call someone a homophobe or a racist.

This does not extend only to matters of race. If a gay gets into a disagreement for any reason with someone else, you know the other person is a homophobe. Watch any talk show or court show on TV and try to find one instance of a woman saying her ex lover, boyfriend, husband, etc. did NOT abuse her. I heard one the other day say her boyfriend began “mentally abusing” her. What does that mean? He thought bad things about her? We have gone from physical abuse to verbal abuse (forget “stick and stones”) to mental abuse. How long before we get someone claiming ‘pre-abuse’ (well, he was going to abuse me sooner or later)?

The ultimate safe word is the N word. You can’t even type the word anymore, although blacks use it constantly in all sorts of situations as a friendly term of endearment. This has always baffled me inasmuch as to so many people, it’s a term that will either give you an instant breakdown or be the reason for a good hours-long riot, yet to others, it’s right up there with ‘dog’ and ‘bro’.

Another tenet of D/s is that the real power lies with the submissive. This goes hand in hand with having the safe word. The submissive transfers their power through trust to the Dominant, and by holding onto the safe word, control how far the interaction proceeds.

In PC, the real power belongs with the ‘oppressed’. If a member of any minority, for any reason, at any time, feels upset with someone else who is not a member of that minority, all they have to do is cry wolf and accuse the other person with discrimination. You’ve seen it in the story of the large black woman who is suing because she claims the airline requested she buy another seat due to the fact she is black. It had nothing to do with her weighing over 300 pounds. People are taking her seriously.

A group of unruly black teenagers are being loud in a store, flinging obscenities at each other and at other patrons. The business owner asks them to leave. They run to the news media shouting, “Racist!”

Who ultimately has the power in that scenario? The business owner’s choices are to allow the gang to run off his other customers, or to face months of pressure from the media and the local version of Jesse Jackson, who will be shaking him down for a ‘contribution’.

Watch or read the news. When there is a confrontation involving a minority and a non-minority, I would venture that in well over 90% of the time you will see it pop up, even if it has nothing to do with the confrontation.

The whole purpose of D/s is about transferring power. Transfer of power is the sole purpose of PC as well, although it’s more a permanent transfer that is sought.

The most current form of PC involves politicians tripping over themselves to pass “hate crime” legislation. If someone beats you, they get charged with assault. But if someone beats you and says anything that demeans your race, religion, sexual orientation, etc., then it’s a much more serious offense. Hate crime at its most basic is criminalizing thought, and that is a slippery, slippery slope.

The one area where I see a difference between D/s and PC is the public perception of the interaction. Although most people have long considered D/s to be offensive, it’s becoming accepted by more and more people as time goes on. PC is experiencing the exact opposite effect. While the majority of society has accepted it for so long (why, I just can’t figure out), it’s slowly becoming recognized as either a joke or a means for scammers to grab a bit more power, money, or combination of the two.

The saddest part of this is the dilution for the people who are actually hurt. There are actual cases of discrimination out there. There are true instances where someone will hit someone because they are gay. Spouses are physically abused. These true instances are almost drowned out by the cacophony of cries of “wolf!”

Perhaps the next time you see or hear someone whipping out the racist card, you’ll think of safe words and power transfers.