Want to pet my peeve?

I have a few pet peeves and thought it might make a column to list a few. So here we go.

I do not like singers who butcher a melody by trying to showing off their vocal range. I can understand making a song yours, but in order for you to be credited with singing a song, don’t you at least have to hit some of the right notes? If they change the words, it gets noticed. The melody is just as important as the words of a song. The absolute worst example of this is when someone sings the National Anthem and turns an extended single note into their version of a cat running across a keyboard. Advice to those people who think this is “musical” – if you want to show off your vocal range that badly, just sing scales. Stop murdering the melodies.

I do not like the phrase “giving 110%”. It’s obvious why this is a goofy phrase, even to the most unenlightened. By using this, now people have gotten used to 110% equaling your best effort, so now some among us feel compelled to go to further lengths, such as 150% and 200%. If you want to see the progression, watch American Idol. If they keep up their pace, they’ll eventually be giving someone a “12,495% yes.”

One of my biggest pet peeves involves incorrect usage of language. In a completely unscientific sampling, I had the opportunity to watch some TV recently while laid up recovering from walking pneumonia and a sinus infection. Listed below are some of the more egregious examples of language abuse.

“Me and my friend went to the store” – This phrase is commonplace now. For those of you who can’t remember the usage of me and I, here is a great device. Remove the “and my friend” part and see how it sounds – “me went to the store.” Doesn’t work, never will. Some will even make a double mistake and say, “me and him went shopping.”

“I seen her do it” – arggh. Incorrect usage of tense just makes me, well, tense. I saw, you saw, we saw, I have seen, etc.

“I had real good intentions of her.” It doesn’t work to just take big words that you hear others use and simply insert them in a sentence of your own to impress people. You have to know the usage of the word.

“Me and my father had a sentimental value towards this vehicle, that he had one duplicate just like the one my father had.” Whaaa? Can you find a single thing that is correct with this statement? How do you have sentimental value towards something?

I don’t want to go on for too long on this topic, so I’ll save some for a later time. In other words, me no want to not speak ad insanitarium, so my close will now mouth.