Monday musings and ramblings

This says it all – one of the current best selling French Quarter T shirts reads, “I stayed in New Orleans for Katrina and all I got was this lousy T shirt, a new Cadillac and a plasma TV.”

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Okay, now this borders on the ridiculous – Britain has banned school children raising their hands to answer questions. Not only that, but teachers are not allowed to call on children who raise their hands, and children who are called on are allowed to ‘phone a friend’ by nominating someone else to answer. I can’t even begin to address the stupidity in this latest effort.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere - and to let the air out of the tires.

It seems the state fish of Hawaii is no longer the humuhumunukunukuapuaa. What a shame.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

A $120,000 house in Indiana is incorrectly valued at $400 Million and is now being blamed for budget shortfalls and possible layoffs.

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How did it become a violation of federal law to transport a human skull? Was it that big of a problem?

Monday Funny

A man goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.

The man says, "We'll ship her home."

The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here."

The man replies, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."