Musings and Ramblings

Happy Memorial Day. Hug and thank the veterans you know.

It’s long past time that Baseball did something about Barry “Barroids” Bonds and his illegal chemically-induced cheating home runs. If someone puts cork in their bats and are caught, they get punished. Putting illegal chemicals in your body is far more dangerous, not to mention it violates the rules more. Although I have never understood those who scramble to find excuses for lawbreakers, they exist. People came out to protest about Michael Jackson’s supposed innocence at his trial. Convicted murderers receive fan letters written from people they have never met. People will hunt you down in order to scream at you that baseball did not have rules in place banning steroids until 20003 (totally untrue) and that Barroids is innocent until proven guilty (an idiotic statement until he is rightfully charged with felony perjury, and still then only applicable inside the courtroom). The man cheats, he broke the law, he lied to a grand jury, he is a jerk to anyone who tries to be nice to him, he is arrogant, and he is most undeserving. This is the man that some people want to idolize and defend?

No matter how much I care, some people are just jerks.

Here is an interesting graphic for those who just don’t understand about where the money we spend on gasoline goes. Notice that almost 20% of the cost goes to taxes. That’s 50-60 cents per gallon. That’s a lot more than the oil company makes for profit.

Former President Clinton was once asked what he thought about foreign affairs. He replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”

What do you have to do in order to get the earth to open up and swallow you?

There are very few problems that can’t be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

The story behind the story – while taping the recently aired Dateline special on catching pedophile perverts, reporters were shocked to see one man pull up for what he thought would be his sex meeting with a 14 year old boy, and the man had his own 5 year old son in tow. Castration would be too good for this jerk.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

Item: A law firm gives huge amounts of money to one political party, almost none to the other major political party. Item: The same law firm is indicted on charges of fraud, perjury, bribery and obstruction of justice. Question: do the leftie media outlets trumpet the items? Answer: Not if the political party receiving the money is the Democratic party. Stand by and listen to the silence on this one.

Monday Funny

The following are signs found in different kitchens

So this isn't Home Sweet Home... adjust

Martha Stewart doesn't live here

Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my cooking, lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.

It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen...just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.