Monday Musings and Ramblings

So now we have government officials calling it illegal and discriminatory for a privately owned business to post a sign requesting English be spoken in the business.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Since both the Yankees and the Red Sox are out of the playoffs, do you think ESPN will even notice there’s a World Series being played?

What's the speed of dark?

We are told that African Americans would prefer not to be called blacks or colored people, and African American is the currently desired PC term. Therefore, I suggest the renaming of the organization to the National Association for the Advancement of African Americans, or NAAAA, or simply the N quad A.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Geraldo the Cheapskate

I have a few celebrity stories. Not many, as I have spent the bulk of my time on Earth in places most celebrities would never consider visiting. But there were a couple of times where the planets aligned and I had the chance to bump into someone experiencing their fifteen minutes of face time.

There was the time I met Ed Ames at a radio station when I was a wee one and he was a TV star. Or the time the mayor of Atlanta showed up at the restaurant and bar where I worked as we were closing with his “bodyguards” and a buxom young girl who was not his niece, his daughter, his wife or his secretary, and I refused to let them in (that almost got me fired but it was completely worth it). There was the time I had the extreme misfortune to meet NFL quarterback (before he became an ESPN regular) Ron Jaworski.

But no star crossings stick in my mind as much as Geraldo Rivera. Before Geraldo made it big on Fox, before he embarrassed himself opening Capone’s vault, before he tried on that ‘serious journalist’ jacket, he hosted a show called Good Night America late at night on one of the networks. Very few had heard of him at the time, but I knew who he was. I was fresh out of high school and working at a restaurant and bar in Atlanta when he stepped off the elevator. No one recognized him except me. I told everyone who he was but the reaction was along the lines of, “who? So what?”

I was determined to treat him like a semi star at least. I took Geraldo to the restaurant and sat him at a good table. I picked a waiter who I knew would get his order right and on time. I checked with him during the meal. Afterwards, I escorted him to the revolving bar that gave a view of the Atlanta skyline for an after-dinner drink. Then I walked him back to the elevator. All the while I did not fawn over him, I simply gave him good service.

As Geraldo was stepping on the elevator, he turned to me and told me what an enjoyable evening he had, and he pressed something into my hand. I held it until the doors closed, observing proper protocol, before looking down on the bill he had placed in my hand.

There he was – George Washington – staring at me. One dollar. One single, solitary dollar. This was the tip from the man who got almost two hours of attention from me that night. If only I had the chance to thank Geraldo for contributing to my college fund.

That’s my Geraldo Rivera story. The man was a cheapskate and one of the worst tippers I have ever encountered.

Monday Musings and Ramblings

The other day, my son and I were listening to the local classic rock station on the radio. The DJ said he was going to play some Heart, after which Billy Idol began playing. Now, I can see confusing some artists. But how do you mix up Heart and Billy Idol? One is a single skinny male with spiked hair who wears leather and studs and speaks with a British accent, while the other is a pair of accent-free voluptuous females with long flowing hair who wear Victoria’s Secret.

A half hour or so later, they did indeed play Heart. At the same time, my son and I both said that must really be Billy Idol singing. My son groaned, realizing he and I are thinking on the same wavelength. Two minutes later, a car in front of us swerved to the right lane before swerving back to the left lane. At the same time, I said, “he can’t make up his mind” while my son said, “he can’t decide…” At that point, my son stopped and hung his head. I got a good laugh out of it.

I had a friend once who insisted it was no coincidence that there are 24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.

I listened recently to a group of young black people carrying on, tossing the N word around like it was candy. It still galls me that if a white person utters the word, they are branded forever. PC dictates that the word itself is not harmful as evidenced by the fact that some can use it almost as a term of endearment. If you ask why it’s okay for some to use it but not for others, you will get the response from the PC crowd that it’s only a racist term when used by whites. If you press on this, you will be told that blacks can’t be racist because you have to have power over someone else in order to be a racist.

Getting past the obvious thought that this is simply a ludicrous rationalization done to fit the beliefs and desires of the PC crowd, you get to the fact that those who believe this line of reasoning are assuming that no blacks have power and that all whites do have power. To me, that is the most racist belief of this whole exercise.

Monday Musings and Ramblings

Great story about how the federal government was ready and prepared to move in to help even before Katrina hit, but were bound by law to wait until the LA governor requested assistance. Where’s that tidbit show up on the national media’s Blame Bush Toteboard?

No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.

When Katrina hit, there were state officials awaiting trial in LA concerning money that FEMA sent to the state to help “improve flood control facilities.” Just think if that money had been spent to repair old levees, instead of disappearing.

A bad place to store your emergency backup disk is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.

I just love the irony in the story of the union hiring people to picket the Henderson NV Walmart to protest low wages and lack of benefits. The picket-for-pay crowd was paid $6.00 per hour with no benefits to stand in 100 degree weather.

When the PC says, "Insert Disc #2," don't do it immediately. Remove disc #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?