Monday, May 29, 2006

Legalized Theft

$500. For a key.

I just received word from my local Ford dealership on the cost of a new key for my vehicle.

A little background first. I have a car that uses one of those nifty little keys that houses a computer chip. When we bought the vehicle from a dealership, there was only one key. We were told it would be $100 for another key. They have to reprogram an entirely new key. But the good news is you get two keys. Wow. We decided to hold onto the one key, and for several years we have not lost the one key that works in the vehicle.

Lo and behold, this past week, the car stopped cranking. The engine will turn over, but that’s all. Plenty of battery power, just not catching. After two days of fooling with it (I’m not the most mechanically inclined on the block), I finally caved in and called our local repair place to come tow it in.

I wound up paying $150 to find out the car no longer recognizes the key’s computer chip. Now we have to have it reprogrammed. I had it towed to the nearest Ford dealership, who told me that worst case I might have to have a transceiver replaced. I asked for the bottom line price for the worst case scenario and was told an additional $40. Wow, okay, I was amazed that I might get out of this for under $200 total. $100 for the key and maybe another $40 if the transceiver is bad. I actually felt pretty good.

I just received a call from the robber….er….dealership. Yes, the transceiver is bad, he said, sowe’relookingat$340fortherepair. Excuse me, I said, could you say that just a bit slower? How much?

Three Hundred and Forty Dollars. Now, I was always pretty good at math, but for the life of me, I could not add 100 and 40 and make it come out to 340. After questioning, it would appear the nice man who answered all my questions the other day left out the tiny small insignificant matter of $200 in labor, even though I asked him for the bottom line price.

$500. To fix a key. That has nothing wrong with it.

And they want to tell me that these keys with computer chips are a good thing? Have they cut down on car theft at all? Not that I’ve noticed.

In case you wonder why I cringe every time I am forced to go to a dealership for service, now you know. I would not voluntarily go there for service on a bet. Dealerships steal from people, plain and simple. They can charge whatever they want, due to proprietary concerns. What am I going to do? There is not another place anywhere that can solve my problem – a problem that was caused by Ford intentionally putting in expensive technology that does nothing except drive their bottom line and ensures that only they can fix it.

$500. For a key.

Ridiculous.

Musings and Ramblings

Happy Memorial Day. Hug and thank the veterans you know.

It’s long past time that Baseball did something about Barry “Barroids” Bonds and his illegal chemically-induced cheating home runs. If someone puts cork in their bats and are caught, they get punished. Putting illegal chemicals in your body is far more dangerous, not to mention it violates the rules more. Although I have never understood those who scramble to find excuses for lawbreakers, they exist. People came out to protest about Michael Jackson’s supposed innocence at his trial. Convicted murderers receive fan letters written from people they have never met. People will hunt you down in order to scream at you that baseball did not have rules in place banning steroids until 20003 (totally untrue) and that Barroids is innocent until proven guilty (an idiotic statement until he is rightfully charged with felony perjury, and still then only applicable inside the courtroom). The man cheats, he broke the law, he lied to a grand jury, he is a jerk to anyone who tries to be nice to him, he is arrogant, and he is most undeserving. This is the man that some people want to idolize and defend?

No matter how much I care, some people are just jerks.

Here is an interesting graphic for those who just don’t understand about where the money we spend on gasoline goes. Notice that almost 20% of the cost goes to taxes. That’s 50-60 cents per gallon. That’s a lot more than the oil company makes for profit.

Former President Clinton was once asked what he thought about foreign affairs. He replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”

What do you have to do in order to get the earth to open up and swallow you?

There are very few problems that can’t be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

The story behind the story – while taping the recently aired Dateline special on catching pedophile perverts, reporters were shocked to see one man pull up for what he thought would be his sex meeting with a 14 year old boy, and the man had his own 5 year old son in tow. Castration would be too good for this jerk.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

Item: A law firm gives huge amounts of money to one political party, almost none to the other major political party. Item: The same law firm is indicted on charges of fraud, perjury, bribery and obstruction of justice. Question: do the leftie media outlets trumpet the items? Answer: Not if the political party receiving the money is the Democratic party. Stand by and listen to the silence on this one.

Monday Funny

The following are signs found in different kitchens

So this isn't Home Sweet Home... adjust

Martha Stewart doesn't live here

Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my cooking, lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.

It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen...just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Identity Theft Alert

By now you have heard about the personal data stolen from 26.5 million veterans, thanks to a mid-level employee who broke all sorts of rules and regulations and took the data home.

Thank goodness the government is on the job. According to a spokesman, the employee has been “has been put on administrative leave while the investigation is conducted.” Gosh, we wouldn’t want something drastic done, like firing the jerk. Let’s spend all sorts of taxpayer money first in another monumental waste. I’ll wager the bozo winds up not being fired.

Sadly, this is not uncommon. Look at this site. It details data breaches at an alarming rate.

For those of you who were discharged from the service since 1975 (and I am a member of that group as well), be on guard with your financial data for awhile. Keep a close eye on bank statements.

Don’t let identity theft happen to you.

Musings and Ramblings

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

Michelle Malkin writes about reverse racism. A compelling article.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

One from the past – A student signs up for a gun safety course and is told to bring his firearm to the after-hours class. When he shows up, he is told the zero tolerance regulations at the school forbid anyone bringing a gun to school…even for the gun safety course.

Politicians and diapers usually need to be changed for the same reason

How would the media react if a college test contained a question that mentioned Jesse Jackson, or Whoopi Goldberg, or Al Sharpton, and watermelon? Now ask yourself that again, except this time, substitute the name Condoleezza Rice…and listen to the utter silence from the liberal media.

You spend the first two years of their life teaching children to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen years telling them to sit down and shut up.

What do you call it if union leaders go against the wishes of members and endorse a Democrat? Business as usual.

Monday Funny

A man goes to confession and says, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Last night I was in bed with three different women."

The priest thinks this over to determine what penance he should give this sinner. Finally, he says, "Take a dozen lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing."

"Okay. Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?" asks the parishioner.

"No" replies the priest, "But it'll wipe that silly grin off your face."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A Tragedy Compounded

Recently, a local teenage girl was killed. She was driving a car. She had her license for less than a year. She was speeding, something she was known for among her friends. She was text messaging on her phone. She was not wearing her seat belt.

When the speeding car began to drift, she did not notice because her attention was on the phone. When she noticed, she overcompensated, and the car flipped over two complete times before landing on its wheels. The driver was dead. The passenger, another young girl, survived with minor injuries. She was wearing her seat belt.

There has been the usual wailing and sorrow around our community. The school and the media all have been properly somber. There was a memorial at the school. The wake was attended by a lot of people. They've posted pictures on one wall at the school.

And yet, not once has either the school or the family done the one thing that at least would have given her untimely death some meaning, the act that would have been more of a tribute to this child than all of the flowers and keepsakes that litter the side of the road where she died.

Nobody has come forward and talked to her friends, or the school population in general, about the dangers of not wearing a seat belt, the dangers of dividing your attention between driving and text messaging, and the dangers of speeding.

I am not one of those who is all bent out of shape over talking on a cell phone while driving. If you use a hands-free headset, it’s exactly the same as talking to someone in the car. The danger is when you have to use one hand to hold the phone. Or worse, to dial or type messages.

However, I am one of those who gets bent out of shape over not wearing a seat belt. Only the foolish drive without them today, after all the information we have, and all the attention it’s gotten. If nothing else, you wear them to avoid unnecessary tickets.

I won’t go into the speeding and inexperience part much, other than to say it’s rampant in our community, as it probably is in every community, especially among the young. Around 3 pm everyday, our high school parking lot resembles Talladega, with rushing cars trying to go four wide in a two lane area. Young drivers, generally speaking, have no concept of right-of-way, and they have no respect for the awesome danger that a huge piece of metal can present. To most young drivers, it’s a cool way to move around really, really fast with your friends all yapping away, and the humongous speakers spitting out ear-shattering bass notes rendering the rest of the song unintelligible.

It was a sad thing that this girl died young. It’s sadder still that no one will try to save other kids from repeating her tragic mistakes.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Musings and Ramblings

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...usually around age 11.

Three drunk drivers caught within hours of each other…all in the same car

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Shania Twain made me do it

We don’t want your statue – it’s too white

Here’s a batch of good news from Iraq that you won’t see from most major media outlets

Michelle Malkin reports on a 7 year old girl who hates others based on their race, and she is celebrated by the schools.

John Stossel has been speaking truths about public schools, and now he faces the union's wrath.

A 41 year old Afghan man was facing a sentence of death for converting to Christianity 16 years ago. Fortunately, he was not killed for his religion.

How much have you heard in the last month or so about Rep John Conyers misusing government staff for illegal purposes? Not much, I’ll wager. You see, he’s a Democrat. If he were a Republican, it’d be front page news…for weeks.

Monday Funny

If you think your job is bad, look at the following two pictures and be thankful




Monday, May 08, 2006

Bonds On Barroids

So Barry “Steroids” Bonds (known forever more as Barroids) refuses to autograph the ball for the Armed Forces member who caught home run # 713 but made the Air Force serviceman sign a waiver for Barroids’ reality show. Anything to make Barroids more money, but nothing for his fans.

This guy admitted to being a Barroids fan, too, even in all the controversy. Even with Barroids being such a monumental jerk to baseball fans since he first began playing. Even with the steroids, and the human growth hormone, and the injections, and the creams, and the cheating, and the lying to grand juries. All of that, and this guy still confesses to be a fan of Barroids, who repays him by smirking when asked directly if he’ll sign the ball.

I don’t care how many home runs this drug-induced monster gets credited with, he’ll never be considered a champion, nor will he ever hold the Hammer’s record.

Musings and Ramblings

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

A man has been sentenced for shooting a shotgun at a toy plane. I guess it was a good thing he did not miss and hit a close friend. Okay, cheap shot, I know…

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

This is one place you do not want to drop in for a quick drink

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The most expensive burgers ever

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

Some people will do anything on Spring Break

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

An artist does a sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, except he says he never talked to her and she never posed for him. Now the sculpture is going on display and both sides of the abortion debate are up in arms. The pro-choice (has there ever been a more misleading name for a group?) side decry the “anti-abortion message”. Giving birth is anti-abortion? Ooookay. Then I guess every parent in history is against abortion. Doesn't leave a lot of people, does it?

Monday Funny

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse crap. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care...

My car was parked around the corner.

I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Another Fine Kennedy Mess

Here’s what we know for sure. We know that Patrick Kennedy, the son of renowned driver Ted Kennedy, had a single vehicle accident in the wee hours. We know he met with the police. We know that someone on the force instructed the officers on the scene not to administer a field sobriety test. We know that Patrick Kennedy first said he had not been drinking at all, but was taking two different medications, both of which prohibit driving or drinking while using the drug. We know that reports began surfacing after that he was seen drinking in a DC watering hole. We know that after those reports, Patrick then changed his entire story and held a press conference to announce he was entering rehab after saying he had no memory of what happened the night before. We know the police who prevented the field sobriety testing may have to answer for their actions.

Here’s what we don’t know. We don’t know how much, if any, alcohol was consumed by Patrick Kennedy that night. We don’t know his blood alcohol level at the time of the accident or any time afterward. We don’t know if the BAC would prove him guilty or innocent of DUI. We don’t know if he called his dad for help. We don’t know if his dad called the police supervisors. We don’t know why the police did not administer the test to Kennedy. We don’t know if he could have gotten away with going home, sleeping it off, then coming forward the next day to say he was in a daze. We don’t know if he would have saved a passenger if he had gone into the water.

Where are the people who screamed bloody murder over Rush Limbaugh, demanding he be charged with felonies and fired from his job? Where are the people who found it vastly important to dredge up years-old accusations of drug use to smear George Bush? Where are the media, putting out huge bold headlines making accusations?

They are all hiding, hoping this blows over as quickly as possible, while they plot their next smear campaign against a conservative.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Madeleine Albright opens her mouth again

Former Secretary of State (under Clinton) Madeleine Albright is on Fox News right now, and I was timing her on how long it would take before she slammed the current administration, which seems to be her sole reason for breathing lately.

It took longer than I expected, mainly because she spent the first two minutes of her interview saying Clinton "misspoke" when he admitted that he was offered Bin Laden when he was in office, and did not accept the offer. Ms. Albright gave some convoluted explanation that amounted to, "they did not use those exact words". Okay, so she is telling us that Clinton is not incompetent, he's just an idiot. We won't argue the point.

Another nugget of wisdom from Albright's mouth came when she was asked about the oil for food scandal. She said she never expected it to be abused to that extent.

Gee, who could have foreseen that despots and tyrants would misuse money?

I know she is just out running around promoting a new book, but Albright's public appearances simply raise a question every time she pops up. That question is, how in the world was she qualified to hold a cabinet post?

Monday, May 01, 2006

Musings and Ramblings

It’s not about immigration.
It’s about illegal immigration.
It’s not about civil rights.
It’s about people jumping ahead of other people who have been patiently waiting in line legally to gain access to our country.
It’s not about fairness.
It’s about people who have no respect for our laws but demand our benefits.
It’s not about racism.
It’s about national security.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

A 17 year old boy who has oral sex with a 15 year old girl is sentenced to 10 years in prison and a lifetime of registration as a sex offender registration. Good thing he wasn’t a 25 year old female teacher having sex with a 14 year old boy. He might have gotten his hand slapped.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you are drunk, and you are looking for a rock that stands 1100 feet tall, and you are 100 yards away from it with your headlights shining on it, and you flag down a car to ask for directions to the rock, what are the odds that inside the car will be policemen?

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

A dominatrix is evicted by her landlord who happens to be the church.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Wearing a snake around your neck while driving may not be a great idea. Who knew?

Monday Funny

Why parents have gray hair

The ringing phone was answered with a child’s whispered voice.

"Hello?"

"Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The small voice whispered, "No."

"Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

"Is there any one there besides you?"

"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

"What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?"

"The search team just landed the hello-copper."

"What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me"