Thursday Edition of Monday Musings and Ramblings

Apologies for being late with the ramblings. Along with an increased work schedule, my wife returned home last weekend from a week-long trip out of state. All of my spare time was directed towards my family. I knew neither my editor nor my publisher would mind, and I am sure my fan will understand.

A fundraiser in Brooklyn wound up with X rated fortune cookies, giving attendees a bit more than they bargained for.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Imagine being six months pregnant, going to the toilet and mistakenly delivering a baby. Now imagine that 911 call.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.

According to Ben Stein, if you take away all of the profit the oil companies make, you would only lower the price of gas about 6-8 cents.

Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Justice Alito was confirmed, and Alec Baldwin, Meryl Streep and others were upset. What a grand day!

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it also takes up a thousand times the memory.

So it wasn’t the Nazis that Julian Bond was comparing Republicans to when he made his speech. We now know this because the audio tape was finally released. What he actually said was that racial equality to Republicans means flying the American flag alongside the “Confederate swastika.” This from the man who has compared conservatives to the Taliban, called Condi Rice and Collin Powell “tokens” and smeared Samuel Alito, John Ashcroft, and others. But he wants it clear that on this one occasion, he absolutely did not equate Republicans with Nazis. Glad he cleared that one up. Why is it that the lefties who shout the loudest about being ‘tolerant’ are the ones who are quickest to slander, slur, and denigrate with name-calling?

Monday Funny

A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."

Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."